October 18, 2014

A mess like me.

Overcoming obstacles is never an easy job, especially when your emotions are involved. I suppose with everything that’s happened, all I can hope for is time to heal. When I let my guard down the battle with my emotions seeps out.

I would never say drinking is the answer and I am by far an alcoholic, but all my damage and hurt seems to creep out when I’ve had a few drinks.

I’ve noticed that lately when I go out I drink more than I used to in a night. I’m not entirely sure why this is to be honest, but if you’re a smart person and can put two and two together. My subconscious is trying its hardest to make me feel better - but all it is doing is making me worse.

I need to get on top of this. I need to sort myself out. You don’t want to be a mess like me.

EDIT: Coming back to this post a day later. Gosh, I am so dramatic when I’m upset and hung over. Carry on.

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Blogged Personal Adelaide

Yesterday I wore a pretty cool floral shirt. Groundbreaking.

Yesterday I wore a pretty cool floral shirt. Groundbreaking.

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floral fashion ootd menswear Adelaide 2014aff

October 16, 2014

You took a Polaroid of us then discovered, the rest of the world was black and white but we were in screaming colour.

Out Of The Woods - Taylor Swift

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Taylor Swift out of the woods quote

October 15, 2014

Today I was on the cover of my city’s local news magazine, The City Adelaide. I talk about where it all began, right here on my Tumblr page. I can’t thank you all enough for the love and support you’ve shown me over the years, and I’m not stopping anytime soon!

Today I was on the cover of my city’s local news magazine, The City Adelaide. I talk about where it all began, right here on my Tumblr page. I can’t thank you all enough for the love and support you’ve shown me over the years, and I’m not stopping anytime soon!

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The City Adelaide Front Page Tumblr Blogger YouTube Jake Bley

October 14, 2014

Captured by the moment.

Today we are told over and over to capture the moment. We pull out our iPhones and cameras at concerts, we share images with our friends, we convey an amazing life through our Instagram accounts. You know, modern day social media.

After experiencing all I have this past year, I have learnt an important lesson about life. We try to capture moments, but really, the moments capture us.

I’ve been mesmerised and completely transfixed on the world spinning around me. There’s been so many things happen over this period in my life that are completely out of my control. Life changing moments, and they’ve captured me forever. I can still remember how it felt. How each of them tasted in my mouth. You can’t always catch a moment in a picture; It’s how it makes you feel. Soak it in.

I know I’m the worst person to preach this, coming from the social media addicted, iPhone loving kid I am - but take this lesson away from me. Put your phone down. Enjoy moments before you stop feeling them anymore.

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Moments Boyhood Thoughts Ramblings Blogged Personal Adelaide

October 9, 2014

October 2, 2014

Now more than ever.

What I never expected was that it’d be so hard down the track when losing people so close to me.

When my mother and best friend passed away I had so much going on. I had to comfort other people, sort out finances, plan funerals, be with my family and keep my life afloat at the same time. Now that the dust has settled, it’s harder than ever.

I’ve recently come in to some amazing news that I can’t wait to share with you all. The second I found out about this news I wanted to call my mother. The extreme excitement I felt was completely turned around into anguish. My heart dropped into my stomach. I miss calling her. I miss just chatting to him. I miss sharing my life with the two closest people to me, and now they’re not here.

I suppose this message is for all you out there. If you have any friends or family going through a rough patch or dealing with a death (or two) like me, don’t think just because the storm is over that it isn’t still flooding. Let me tell you, some days it feels like I’m drowning and no one would even know.

When it seems like everything is okay is when they might need you most. Like I do, right now.

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Blogged Personal Cancer Inspiration Adelaide Australia

September 29, 2014

hey jake! I just wanted to let you know that you along with other queer-identifiying youtubers helped me in my coming out process in the sense that you normalized being gay, and more specifically being gay within a specific community. For me that'd be being a queer muslim. I wanted to let you know I am one of the millions who you have unknowingly helped. Your mother may not be here anymore and I am so sorry, but know that she, and anybody, would be very proud of you because you have saved lives.

Words cannot express how much people like YOU have saved my life.

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September 26, 2014

The things I’d do to give my mother a call to just chat…

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September 25, 2014

Hi Jake. I just wanted to let you know that watching you go through your struggles lately and being able to be strong and get through it has really given me hope. I also lost my mom recently. It has actually been six months and i still find myself struggling to get through some days. I unfortunately have no real answer as to what happened to my mom. But i'm trying to stay strong. And your story has really helped me<3

I want to thank you for writing this to me. I also want to correct you, just a little bit. I may seem like I’m being strong, but like you I’m finding it hard, especially today. I’m not coping and I’m also internalising it a lot, which I usually don’t do.

The fact that I can help you brightens me up so much. It helps me every single day to know that I’m helping people. It is almost the only positive thing to come out of all this hurt.

If anything, we both need to understand is that it is okay not to be okay. And right now, we aren’t okay.

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